Rejoice, dear readers (all none of you)! I thought my plans to complete Lost Valley would be forever thwarted by corrupted save games and Vista’s inability to handle Dos games.
Then Eidos, in all their wisdom, released “Tomb Raider: The Greatest Raids”, a collection of the first four Tomb Raiders made compatible with Vista! I received the collection for my birthday (hey, I can’t afford to buy it myself) and now, can finally continue my jaunt through Peru.
The title of this level suggests there’s a lost valley to be found somewhere around this cave, and as a child, I was convinced it should be behind this waterfall. I mean, where else would a self-respecting Incan put it?
Oh, yeah, not behind a waterfall. Instead, hidden behind some rocks in a little alcove packed with wolves. This skeleton should be more than enough to signal danger ahead, although at least he’s got a large medi-pack up for grabs. To this day, I cannot walk past a decaying skeleton lying in a tomb without a sense of foreboding.
The point of this level is to discover the location of three cogs, which will be slotted into a machine located near your starting point. Despite not having played TR for a good few years, I still remember where all the cogs are. To be honest, I’m looking forward to the later levels, where I don’t remember exactly what to do.
Wasn’t Lara a vision in ‘96? I seriously cannot work out how people lusted after this. She gets prettier in 2 and 3, only to be uglified in 4 and 5. The next-gen games kicked in and…no, actually, she’s still not much of a picture. Too much eye-liner. Still, it’s the unnaturally-jiggly breasts that count, eh?
And what do you know, inside the building lies another cog! Along with some velociraptors, of course. But they can’t swim. I’ve never noticed this in Tomb Raider before, but Lara seems to be holding her breath underwater. That’s kind of cool.
The final cog lies across the broken bridge hanging over the valley. I noticed how all the cogs are lying on at least one square of the same texture. Like they’re infecting the very ground they stand on.
All that was waiting for me at the end of the winding tunnel, however, was a hole in the ceiling and a stone face sticking his tongue out at me for wasting my time. No, there was not even a medi-pack.
Annoyed, I went back to the cog machine and got it up and running. The golden door that lied to the start of that pointless tunnel had moved, directing the flow of water away from the pool of water I encountered earlier. Which meant the pointless tunnel was now flooded!
Shotgun shells and a medi-pack! Having only one medi-pack (because I’d cheated my way from the first level to get here, after I had to uninstall my original Tomb Raider and lost all my save games) I was glad to see it.
One secret?! I should have explored more, but having played this level through about fifty times, I was pretty bored of it.
Next up: Boulders! Spike-pits! A proper tomb! A living, breathing human being that isn’t Lara!