Atlantis

Ah, Atlantis.  As terrifying as it is disgusting.  If nothing else, this level serves to assure us that the lost island is actually better off not being found, really.  Judging by the texturing used in this level, Atlantis is what happened when a giant, independent womb crashes into the desert.  I hope I’ve painted a pleasant picture for you, there; believe me, you need to be prepared.


Oh, run down this dark and foreboding corridor?  Haha, yeah, I don’t think so.


Oh, well, now you’ve turned the light on…


The first pick-up is some Uzi clips, which I took as a subtle suggestion that maybe I should upgrade from the magnums.


Pretty much half of Atlantis consists of these nests filled with golden eggs and revolving umbilical cords.


Apparently, the two main materials using in Atlantean architecture was glass and flesh.


I was surprised to learn that lava has the same consistency as sand, but hey, I was rubbish at geography.


Jesus could walk on water; Lara can dance on water.


A common sight in Atlantis.  Click on the image to enjoy the fleshy walls in all their pulsating glory.


Behold, the magical boulder!  Not only can it travel up hill, it also has the ability to defy gravity by stopping mid-roll.


One of the more picturesque landmarks in Atlantis; a bridge made out of sinew and muscle.  I’m so glad I didn’t play this level straight after lunch.


When a level starts handing out ammo and medipacks like they’re candy, you know something bad is coming.


Lara accidently interrupts the annual deadly trap convention.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!


It’s okay, it’s just Bacon Lara, Lara’s Atlantean doppelgänger, who mirrors Lara’s every move.  For once, I’m kind of glad Crystal Dynamics changed her look in Underworld.


Bacon Lara ends up falling into a lava pit.  The horrifying thing is, she’s not dead; her head moves when Lara’s does.  I’m not surprised she gets pissed off and ends up blowing up Croft Manor.


Lara realises she’s starving hungry and tries to remember when she last ate.


From the knees down, you could be forgiven for thinking Natla was a ninety-year-old grandmother.  In fact, you can almost feel the disapproval her old-woman shoes have for her low-cut top.


Unable to resist any longer, Natla flings herself at Lara.  Unfortunately for NudeRaider fans, Lara’s not interested.


Natla looks almost serene as she falls to her fiery death.


Lara attempts to “swim” across the floor.  I used to do the same thing.  When I was six.


The end!  One level to go!