Tomb Raider: Recap

It would be impossible for me to write an objective review of Tomb Raider; I’m too close to the game to see it through anything other than my own fangirling eyes.  Instead, I’ve borrow some of the questions from Jeremy’s 30-Day Tomb Raider Challenge and Stella’s adaption of the same challenge and used some of my own to make up a nice little recap.

So;

Favourite / Least Favourite Level
Choosing a favourite level is difficult, as they all have their merits. Highlights include Obelisk of Khamoon (for its sheer beauty), Atlantis (for puzzles and traps) and Sanctuary of the Scion (because hey, I love climbing). Natla’s Mines also holds a special place in my heart thanks to how creepy I used to find it when the deathly silence is interrupted with that deep, southern accent muttering “ain’t nothing personal…” followed by the sound of gunfire.
Least favourite? Well, it’s not exactly terrible, but I did tire of Colosseum fairly quickly.

Favourite / Least Favourite Enemy
For ease of killing (and because they’re so damn cute), my favourite enemy would have to be the crocodile.  From their cute little grunting noises to their overdramatic death throes, there’s not a lot to hate about them.  Plus, they don’t take a lot of bullets and (for the most part) stay in the water and out of your way.
In terms of genuinely scary and awesome, my vote goes for the panther mummy.  I don’t know why I find the panther mummies scary than Atlanteans.  I think I’ve just always found mummies a little eerie.
As for my least favourite?  Well, winged Atlanteans are pretty annoying, but at least they only appear in two levels, and there aren’t too many of them.  So I will go for their softcore but ultimately more plentiful cousin, the bat.  Seriously, nobody likes bats.


Favourite Weapon
Well, there’s only four, and the only one I didn’t use is the shotgun because I never seemed to have a lot of ammo for it and I didn’t want for it to run out in the middle of shooting something.  The Uzis stopped things trying to to eat me / incinerate me the quickest, so they win.

Favourite Puzzle
The best puzzle is the Atlantis’ doppelgänger puzzle; suddenly being faced with a horrific fleshy version of Lara is just so unexpected.

Pictured: Nightmare Fuel

Favourite Music
I don’t think it’s any exaggeration when I say that Nathan McCree is the greatest musician who ever lived. The worst of his Tomb Raider compositions are still so mind-blowingly fantastic that they make me fall to my knees in admiration and awe at the wonder that is his work. If I had to chose a favourite for this game, however, it would be this one; the short theme that plays when you enter the main room in St. Francis’ Folly.

Favourite Scene
Anything with Natla in is always good; the FMV straight after Sanctuary of the Scion is my particular favourite.

Oh look, I can embed videos now! Lara is all kinds of fantastic in this video.

Scariest Moment
I thought it would be Atlantis, but actually, I found the Egyptian levels to be the scariest. One stand-out moment was when I was shimmying above some doorways in Obelisk of Khamoon and I just knew that if I let go I would be mauled to death by panther mummies.

These doorways. *shudder*

Most Emotional Moment
I cried over a deceased crocodile in St. Francis’ Folly, although I was drunk at the time. However, last time I played the game I was got quite chocked up over the underwater statue room in Sanctuary of the Scion, because I forgot it was there. So that gets a special mention.

Favourite Outfit
Well, considering the choice is between Lara’s classic look and the casual crop-top and parachute pants she opts for at home, I don’t really think there’s any contest.

Just to confirm: Classic.

 

Favourite Way To Kill Lara
Like I spent my time intentionally killing Lara!…okay, well, I may have jumped on the hand of Midas a few more times than I needed to…

So medipacks can instantly heal bullet
 wounds but there’s nothing in them to
prevent you turning into gold?

Conclusion

Tomb Raider was one of the first 3D games I ever played, and I loved it.  Although it doesn’t inspire the same wonder in me now as it did thirteen years ago, I still can’t play it without experiencing a sweet nostalgic rush.  Atmospheric and challenging, the game is a phenomenal achievement for those involved.  In short; it’s awesome.

The Great Pyramid

We’ve made it!  The final level.  It’s a relatively short one, but packs everything in; bosses, puzzles, trap gauntlets and killing things.  It’s one of those levels that makes you glad you’re playing the “save anywhere you want” PC version rather than on the PlayStation.

The start of the level.  There’s no gentle easing into the boss fight here; you’re just chucked down directly in front of the Abomination (I’m not being unkind, that’s actually its name).

Getting too close to it results in being repeatedly bashed on the ground and swung about like a rag doll.  It’s really not pleasant to watch, especially as Lara tends to get her angry shooting expression stuck on her face, which, from far away, looks like she’s screaming.

The overly-dramatic death of the Abomination is rivalled only by the crocodiles.  Seriously, it took about ten minutes of flailing about and looking anguished before he finally exploded.

Back into the womb, oh what joy.

Sooner or later, Lara comes back to the Scion.  You can’t pick it up (which just sucks) so you’re forced to shoot it.

Shooting the Scion results an earthquake and a plethora of special effects.  The shaking screen suggests it’s time to leave.

I seriously do not know how anybody playing on a PlayStation would have the patience to finish this level.  There are only four save-game crystals according to Stella’s walkthrough, which is about six hundred less crystals than there are ways to die.

Oh look, another fire trap, a la Palace Midas.  Too bad I never learnt how to get past it.

Your exit from the fleshy part of Atlantis also serves as some kind of grotesque visual birth metaphor.  At least, that’s what I thought it was.  I can’t be the only one.

Oh, look, Natla’s back!  And now she can fly.  Still has ugly shoes, though.

A few rounds of Uzi bullets later and Natla finally falls to the ground, dead.

…okay, maybe not quite so dead.  What the hell? (what the hell, what the hell, what the hell?)

This time she’s definitely dead.  Probably.

Her job finally complete, Lara slides out of Atlantis.

Woo!  The end!  I underestimated myself when I predicted a 2014 finish date.

When the hell did this bit happen?!

As I stated before, this is indeed the end of the game.  But the end of the blog?  No chance.  There’s still a big heap of Tomb Raider out there to play, and we’ve still got at least four good games to get through.

Atlantis

Ah, Atlantis.  As terrifying as it is disgusting.  If nothing else, this level serves to assure us that the lost island is actually better off not being found, really.  Judging by the texturing used in this level, Atlantis is what happened when a giant, independent womb crashes into the desert.  I hope I’ve painted a pleasant picture for you, there; believe me, you need to be prepared.


Oh, run down this dark and foreboding corridor?  Haha, yeah, I don’t think so.


Oh, well, now you’ve turned the light on…


The first pick-up is some Uzi clips, which I took as a subtle suggestion that maybe I should upgrade from the magnums.


Pretty much half of Atlantis consists of these nests filled with golden eggs and revolving umbilical cords.


Apparently, the two main materials using in Atlantean architecture was glass and flesh.


I was surprised to learn that lava has the same consistency as sand, but hey, I was rubbish at geography.


Jesus could walk on water; Lara can dance on water.


A common sight in Atlantis.  Click on the image to enjoy the fleshy walls in all their pulsating glory.


Behold, the magical boulder!  Not only can it travel up hill, it also has the ability to defy gravity by stopping mid-roll.


One of the more picturesque landmarks in Atlantis; a bridge made out of sinew and muscle.  I’m so glad I didn’t play this level straight after lunch.


When a level starts handing out ammo and medipacks like they’re candy, you know something bad is coming.


Lara accidently interrupts the annual deadly trap convention.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!


It’s okay, it’s just Bacon Lara, Lara’s Atlantean doppelgänger, who mirrors Lara’s every move.  For once, I’m kind of glad Crystal Dynamics changed her look in Underworld.


Bacon Lara ends up falling into a lava pit.  The horrifying thing is, she’s not dead; her head moves when Lara’s does.  I’m not surprised she gets pissed off and ends up blowing up Croft Manor.


Lara realises she’s starving hungry and tries to remember when she last ate.


From the knees down, you could be forgiven for thinking Natla was a ninety-year-old grandmother.  In fact, you can almost feel the disapproval her old-woman shoes have for her low-cut top.


Unable to resist any longer, Natla flings herself at Lara.  Unfortunately for NudeRaider fans, Lara’s not interested.


Natla looks almost serene as she falls to her fiery death.


Lara attempts to “swim” across the floor.  I used to do the same thing.  When I was six.


The end!  One level to go!

Natla’s Mines

After the abundance of unworldly enemies from the last three levels, Natla’s Mines are refreshingly sparse in population.  There’s only three enemies in this round, all human, although there’s also a hell of a lot of boulders trying to make up for that fact.

Although fun, Natla’s Mines aren’t very photogenic, so we’ll start with some random shots from the FMV that precedes the level:


Best.  Lara.  Facial.  Expression.  EVER.

I’d explain what’s happening here, but that would detract from the awesomeness of the picture.  Every time I’ve ridden a bike, a small part of me has always wanted to emulate this stunt.

Lara sneaks onto a boat crammed full of armed gunmen who have been paid to kill her, not to mention an Atlantean queen in possession of a powerful artefact, and she decides it’s the perfect place to take a nap.  I’m beginning to think Lara’s stupid.  Incredibly lucky, yes, but ultimately, stupid.  It would explain a lot of things, actually.

Lara wakes up alive and gets off the boat, triggering the start of the level.

Apparently, Natla Technologies didn’t have enough spare dosh to kit out their speedboats with luxury extras (such as sides).  Maybe they had to cut funding to the vehicle department so Natla could continue showering in bank notes.

Thanks to her inability to master the art of crawling, this fuse will have to be retrieved another way.

In the world of Tomb Raider, a couple of cracks on the outside of a crate makes it three times lighter and therefore moveable.

Such damage means the crate no longer has to obey the laws of physics, either.

This bad Larson tribute act is one of the three humans in the level, and has taken your magnums hostage.

 


The people that stole Lara’s weapons decided to hide her pistols in an elevated portakabin, remove the fuses that allow her to winch the cabin down and scatter them about the level in various hazardous places.  Bear in mind they travelled over miles of open sea between mugging Lara and getting here.  They couldn’t have just, I don’t know, tossed the things in the sea?  No?

Ah, the obnoxious skateboard kid, Travis Bickle and Marty McFly’s least-favourite lovechild.

Hold on, is the skateboard kid not a twelve-year-old child?!  All the hoo-hah about killing endangered animals, and this nobody minded.

The shotgun guy goes from “black” to “deeply tanned” in the space of a level.

That has to be one of the most foreboding corridors in this game yet.  I almost considered shutting the game down and giving up, especially as I know what lies in that cursed place.

The end!  I thought I was really quick on this level, but the stats don’t lie.